I'm a space-bound rocketship and your heart's the moon

Forever craning my neck to look for signs of your passing.. feel that cold trace of your being.. anything to catch a glimpse of some evidence that you still breath, think, speak and care. How did the connection break and why are we free-falling but in opposite directions. Spiralling almost out of control until one of us grabs hold of something stable. Can we grab the same thing? find some form of reconciliation? a reason to shorten the gaping distance? Am I speaking in riddles? no. Just easier than putting down in exact words because it feels more beautiful and more poetic.

MedsMedsMeds

Blacked out the other night. Slid in and out of consciousness like a ball on a boat riding the swell. after countless meds I'm shattered and semi-human at all times. After CT scans and MRI scan they still have no answer. So now follows a series of tests to ascertain my affliction.

Anyway, it has made me realise my priorities and what I want. The whole day I wanted someone with me who couldn't be there to take the pain away. I'm more than ready now to try and put right anything I'm doing wrong in my life in order to get where I want to be!

Rd-Ct-Br <3

Breathe for me.. breathe!

Just had one of the scariest experiences ever. More when I'm alive..

you're a supernova...

I'm not going insane, I'm just a little off the rails in the face of blind panic at not getting back what I had. I've 8 days left in this house and I'm gonna miss it.. "it was our room". Don't mis-interpret this blog today.. I'm feeling happy and chilled. Music has been constant today and I'm having a listen 2 Eminem's new album "RECOVERY" and it's decent! This song is awesome and NO it doesn't bear any relevance to anything! I just like it!

no words today. Just music for her.

It's time to join the immortals!

It's finally here. 4 long long looooong years of waiting with no euro competition in-between due to our poorness. My excitement is at an all-time high as I don't remember feeling 'present' at the last world cup! I don't expect us to win as I'm more realistic than I was back in the day.. therefore if we progress well it will add to the surprise and excitement! the downside is that I'm working for most of the England games :-(

Anyway, life currently consists of starting work in daylight and coming home from work in...daylight. UNNNNGGGGHHHH!!!

Things in my life are definitely taking shape once again and I have found structure and routine which I enjoy. Weights, football, work, run, read. I currently have no interest in physical or intimate relationships because I need desperately to focus on self-improvement. But I am happy at the moment, Football fever seemingly a good remedy!

I miss YOU, I miss my mates back home, I miss everyone who's departed from Uni already but everything will eventually fall into its place!

IT'S COMING HOME! IT'S COMING! FOOTBALL'S COMING HOME!