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Jermaine Pennant!



Eidur Gudjohnsen



Marc Wilson



Kenwyne Jones



Jon Walters




GOOD WORK TONY PULIS!

I HATE HATE HATE..

..the CAR SPOTTER ADVERTS! my grandma could make a better one!

Also I miss her everyday and everyday I wish for forgiveness..

"how lower class of you!"

Went to Stock Cars with the fam yesterday. It's been years! so much fun! but incredibly northern and lower class according to Sam Norris! Oh well! I'm in high spirits today after FINALLY getting a decent sleep!

Stoke should hopefully pull in Marc Wilson, Eidur Gudjonssen, Jenas and someone else..

I move into my new pad tomorrow and my party is this saturday. WIN!

WINs n FAILs

Just got in from work. 4pm - 1am :(

doing 3pm - 3am tomorrow (and however long it takes 2 close after) then drive to notts. tiiiired.com :(

Everything else is great. Few more days til new place and birthday party..

there's 1 thing I want but can't have though. THAT annoys me

WIN


FAIL

chewing on my own blood

..last night apparently? I have no idea what that means! but I posted it on facebook for some reason
or another. why is it that when I go out with platts I never remember much?

anyway.. fail and win of the day...

FAIL




WIN

FAIL & WIN of the day

FAIL



WIN

I got 99 problems...

...but cash ain't one.. HIT MEH!



but the rest of it sucks because money don't fix everything.. it just distracts.. which will do for now.


HELLOOOO brand new xbox.

and additionally.. FUCK YOU! (no1 particular)

PS. panda..

hugs and ducks (as in the water-based animal)

x

and they say heroism is reserved for people

possibly one of the more moving things I've ever seen..

FAIL & WIN of the day

FAIL




WIN

I just wanna sit here all day

bedridden

been feeling very ill all day and unable to get out of bed, my kidneys hurt too much

blaaaagh I've realised just how very lonely I am.

Not over it

but I DO have to try and carry on don't I!

if I can't have what I want then I just have to learn to live with it right?

I'm just gonna have to do what you're doing and go to bed with a head full of 'ME'

I got a load of money yesterday.. would have been nice to have taken you out somewhere nice like I promised before.

eeeeeessssshhhhhh!

x

AND I'M BACK!

Had a lovely night of jus chillaxin with this film and good people

that's it!

I've spent far too long recently talking/thinking about it!

after the last few days I've had I've decided to stop being a coward and

just get it over with to prove a point.

this is where I have to go

but my sat-nav of life is out of battery right now..

this could be it

I'm right here.. ready to do all I can.. and that's not enough for you... so this may well be it for me. I don't know how to say goodbye to it all.. I wanted 2 make the most of myself from a certain day onwards.. a day when everything felt perfect and I was ready to give it all.

Everything I care about I lose.. it's like I wasn't ever meant to be happy.

E.L.P I would do everything I could to show you how perfect I would have made our lives.. I'm sorry that things I did before that
changed your mind.

So this is goodbye

7 years bad luck

I walked into the bathroom unable to see through the tears in my eyes. I'm not a man given over to crying but when I do
it's endless. I just punched and head-butted the mirror until everything seemed to make sense.. and it wasn't until I sat down, back to the wall in a pile of broken glass an a trickle of blood running down each cheek.. I realised I still didn't have a clue... But I didn't have the energy to get back up.

no pictures. no music. just nothing.

the sun will come out.. tomorrow!

Off to See the first home game against spurs tomorrow! will be buying one of these:

I've been craving the excitement and buzz of a home game at the bear pit britannia!

there's only ONE thing I REEAALLYY need right now.. but she doesn't want to know :( :( :( :(



I would give ANYTHING to be yours

I feel THIS dark..

and also..

Today this genre has found it's way back in to my life somehow. amazin. It embodies my anger at myself.

tick...tock...

If I could just turn back time I'd give the world to you...

Decrepit Bricks

You're not the only one who's drowning...

	Gym Class Heroes - Petrified Life And The Twice Told Joke .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

And at night I roam these streets
with absolutely no purpose...

...feelin' like I'm worthless

something to cheer me up for the day

*@!&^!@&*(_&$!!!!!

It's not self harm if you don't feel anything..

back to square One. Back to feeling fucked up n miserable again..

Stroll into the abyss

AGAIN.. I shoot myself in the foot! I don't mean to! I admit I did some things wrong.. but only before I
proclaimed my dedication! the things you saw were entirely out of context and can be rationally explained!

I was ready to give the world to you. I was ready to open up and share my feelings. I was ready to feel love and
happiness again and it's all just gone and you won't listen.

I could see the shape of the future and it was brilliant.. if only I could show you that vision.. you would have been
at the centre of it.. I would never cause you pain.

I'm so sorry... I want to curl up and die.

Bam-Ba-Lam!

I've stolen you from harbs for hugs and mugs of tea :) little important things :D

LIFE...

thankyou for making so much sense right now!



a bit of a personal speed bump and I blinded myself from the great things..

and now it feels like now that the clouds are parting I can see the sunshine after the storm!

I'm an idiot for losing hope and faith but I'm trying.. well no.. not even TRYING because I don't HAVE to try anymore.
These feelings, desires, ambitions and needs come so easily now and I was a fool to despair.

Eleanor Lucy Parker you've given me something back, Like oxygen into the lungs of a drowning man.

I hope you can forgive me and believe in me again.

*emo moment alert*

LADS NIGHT OUT!!!

and I fully intend to be as battered as last week!!!

if you push me.. I'll just keep getting better!

“I’m proud of who I am, and I’m here right now to prove it... any questions?"

You'd think I'd be bitter and angry about things.. I'm honestly not. Uni found my coursework and I passed the year which has lifted
this iron jacket of despair and panic from me.

SO with this out of the way I can now work towards vastly improving on another area of my life and giving my all 2 someone who
truly deserves it. It's gonna be difficult to get there as I put a foot wrong.. but if I get the chance I will prove myself!

KA-BOOM!

THIS is what my happiness would look like if it could be recreated as a physical entity!



and now I have to get ONE more thing right and I will be happy! and MAKE someone else happy! :D

jeez ur gr8!

I'm pickin up good vibrations

you know.. I'm actually feeling preeetty damn good today! Everything finally makes sense and I've accepted my mortality.. well.. at least where uni is concerned.. if I fail.. then I pursue them relentlessly and get the press involved too!

then I work at the pub as much as possible until I can find a full time job. I don't WANT to leave uni seriously though!

my life is one ever-changing story. I know what I want and need though and I'm gonna make it fuckin work!

SIMPLES!



CHUCKLE OF THE DAY:

STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!

IDIOT!

I Know A Song...

Roll on Saturday.. football season I've missed you uncontrollably!
(especially following the dismal England World cup drama)

THIS is the stage and theatre I love so much!



Onto the serious stuff.. why am I indecisive? And why do I realise things much to late? why do things have to be so confusing?
Why do I have to be so confusing to the extent that someone gets hurt?

I know what I want and need now.. Just gotta get there now.. somehow...

like trying to move a mountain

This is me.. almost. SORT IT OUT SORT IT OUT SORT IT OUT!

Why do I never feel good enough for anything or anyone anymore? I've lost my drive and my sense of purpose!

I guess I just need DMUseless to sort out the shitstorm they've caused me and I may be able 2 shrug off the majority of my worries. So sick of being the black sheep of the family who has everything fuck up for them constantly. Why is it always me? surely I should be getting some good karma soon? A load of cash would be a start!

thinking about it I think I was getting some good karma but me being me I did that thing JD always does in scrubs.. self-sabotage!

on a positive note.. I AM feeling a little breezier today after moving stuff into my awesome new pad for next year! I'm also beginning to get a lot more things into perspective :)

dead end? pffft.. I'll just turn around n find my way back :)

PS. I NEED a subway sandwich.

and now for some dark comical entertainment!

like a shattered mirror

I look in, hate what I see and destroy my own reflection. I hate letting my head and heart confuse each other. I feel so impossibly
fragile and painful inside everyday (without wanting to sound emo) and just DO NOT KNOW what to do with myself. Subsequently I don't want anybody to be close to me because the way I feel inside at the moment.. it wouldn't be fair on them.

I want one thing right now. If I had that it would make everything right again..

	Gym Class Heroes - Petrified Life And The Twice Told Joke .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

confusion

I can't get my head round people who say one thing but mean another.. and expect you to work out the hidden meaning. It's not fair and it causes disruption and confusion! I hope you find what you need... anyway.. this made me chuckle today after getting up stupidly early...